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BestCrosswords.com - "Going Nowhere Fast" by Steve Zisser on 5/23/2013 [easy]
Across 1- r____ pit (dance venue); 5- Moe, Larry and Curly, e.g.; 9- Leave flat; 13- "Laugh-In" comedian Johnson; 14- Like Monday puzzles?; 15- Measure of prevention; 16- Burn on the grill; 17- Having nowhere to go, on a chess board; 19- Big nights for singles?; 21- Tea room servings; 22- TV's "Rizzoli & ____"; 23- Item for a cobler or a cordwainer; 24- Felix, to Oscar; 26- Sweet Polly Purebred's love interest; 30- Sleeping disorder; 31- Boatload of boats; 32- The UK is part of it; 33- Norma ____; 34- Afrikaners; 35- Untimely; 36- Pt. of ETA; 37- Sent by wire?; 38- Core team; 39- Picnic activities; 41- ____ Music (publisher of Paul and John's music); 42- Short brain scans?; 43- Don Diego De La Vega's alter ego; 44- Briny; 47- Samantha Stevens' father and uncle, e.g.; 50- Cessation of motion, as on a highway; 52- Go from Point A to Point C?; 53- "Twas brillig and the slithy ____"; 54- Lord High Executioner's weapon; 55- Actress Ward; 56- Practice pugilism; 57- Optimistic; 58- Genesis kingdom;   Down 1- The 4077, e.g.; 2- Hydrox imitator; 3- Going nowhere, anywhere; 4- Range riders; 5- LSAT taker; 6- Gives stars, perhaps; 7- "A miss ___ good ..."; 8- Popeye's Olive; 9- ____ Oats; 10- "Do ___ others..."; 11- Slush Puppie alternative; 12- Koppel and Kennedy; 15- Brunch bar?; 18- Lyric poems; 20- Inter ____; 23- One of Bergen's dummies; 24- Indian royal; 25- Where the Marx Bros. spent a night; 26- "____ Gold"; 27- No place to go, as in negotiations; 28- Weird; 29- Ecologically sound; 31- Big kits; 34- "We don't need no stinking ____" ("Blazing Saddles"); 35- Native American sport; 37- Little devils; 38- With 40-D, Mel Brooks's comedy partner; 40- See 38-D; 41- Safer on CBS; 43- Big name in jewelry; 44- Onetime fliers; 45- Sitting on; 46- Mauna Loa flow; 47- Mayberry's Otis Campbell, e.g.; 48- 2.2 lbs. or so; 49- Much unwanted mail; 51- Dungeons & Dragons game co.;